Komplexities | La Douleur Exquise
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“I still care about him,” she started, when I asked about him.
“I mean, how can I not?” Her eyes began to wander to the ceiling. “He was my friend first, before all this catastrophe happened. He cared about me when no one did. He accompanied me when I was alone. He listened to all my mindless ramblings. He made me feel like I was invincible. He defended me. He made me smile even when I didn’t want to.”
She glanced at him and smiled a little. “The happiness he brought when he came into my life is much bigger than the sadness." - Anonymous
La Douleur Exquise
I read this little piece of heaven here and couldn't help but think back to just how hard it can be untangle yourself from someone who once touched the core of your soul. Ok, let's not be so dramatic and just say someone who once touched your heart like nothing or no one had ever come close.
First, you go through a world of feelings even you never imagined possible; you actually feel your heart shatter into a million tiny pieces at every waking. At this point, you have tried everything to get this person who broke you and keeps breaking you to maybe, without you even having to utter a single word get a glimpse of the chaos he is causing somewhere deep down. Believe me when I say it is not madness to hold on to 'maybe he can feel me think about him'...
When the break up is fresh, your friends are there holding your hand every step of the way. Leaning in to offer a shoulder you can relentlessly cry on. But, we are only human, even your favourite people are bound to get exhausted and suggest a shrink at some point. That's when you know you have to deal with it all by yourself now - so what can you do but keep halfheartedly living on lest you wake up one morning and you have forgotten about it all? Ha!
Hold on to Time...
For someone to have had such a bewitching impact on you, it is bittersweet. You still feel like it all ended before it even started. You start reading about twin souls and try to gather as much information as possible to try to even begin to understand why this one is so hard to shake off.
Only the good times linger - and you still want more.
When the break up is fresh, your friends are there holding your hand every step of the way. Leaning in to offer a shoulder you can relentlessly cry on. But, we are only human, even your favourite people are bound to get exhausted and suggest a shrink at some point. That's when you know you have to deal with it all by yourself now - so what can you do but keep halfheartedly living on lest you wake up one morning and you have forgotten about it all? Ha!
Hold on to Time...
For someone to have had such a bewitching impact on you, it is bittersweet. You still feel like it all ended before it even started. You start reading about twin souls and try to gather as much information as possible to try to even begin to understand why this one is so hard to shake off.
Only the good times linger - and you still want more.
The de-tangle is a war, an unfair war as you have no weapons or army to stand by you, you are supposed to soldier on and come out a champion. the only constant here is time - give yourself time, it may take years but nothing is ever broken forever and even you shall be whole again at some point.
Only time can make you realize that his happiness matters more than anything and for this, you are willing to watch him be with someone else who you know can never love him as much as you do because, as long as he is happy, that is what calms your soul.
You too will stumble into your soulmate who will make you realize why it never worked and then only will you know you had so much ego to lose before true, unconditional love could find you...
It is a bittersweet experience and salut to the French who gave it the perfect term: La Douleur Exquise...
Got your story to share? Go on right ahead - writing heals all :)
Only time can make you realize that his happiness matters more than anything and for this, you are willing to watch him be with someone else who you know can never love him as much as you do because, as long as he is happy, that is what calms your soul.
You too will stumble into your soulmate who will make you realize why it never worked and then only will you know you had so much ego to lose before true, unconditional love could find you...
It is a bittersweet experience and salut to the French who gave it the perfect term: La Douleur Exquise...
Got your story to share? Go on right ahead - writing heals all :)
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