Note to self...

Sometimes, it feels like your world is tumbling, then when you think it has stopped, it shatters into a million tiny pieces- then what do you do but wonder: if there is a God, He certainly has me as one of his puppets; the one he keeps throwing all the not so nice things at. Just writing that, I truly feel like I have gone beyond my boundaries - little do you know that you are responsible for all those self destructing thoughts.


There are days when I look around and feel like I am just not pretty enough - but who sets those standards? Who tells us what beautiful is, or how one should look like to be deemed pretty? No one! We do it to ourselves, at least, I do it to myself. As far as I know, the earth did not come with an in-scripted rule of thumb that sets a thin line between the beautiful and the 'ugly' (I have a strong distaste for that word).

Some days, I look around and I feel, I am just not smart enough - now where stupidity and intelligence stand, I  am extremely sensitive, I won't lie. That probably explains the constant self doubt and this is definitely what stops me from taking giant leaps to the unknown  - I am terrified of any form of failure; maybe because I am afraid that is how I will define myself? Worse yet, that is how other people will define me. No, I want to be perfect and I don't want anything less than that. But where will this get me? Effing no where!

On other days, I am not 'cool' enough and then I try so hard to blend in - little do I realise that this only makes me seek approval from the wrong people and well, to anyone else who wants to really know me, I become as boring as just another blob walking the face of earth.

It takes a while to realise that before you try to 'fit in' to what's appropriate to the rest of the world, we all need to define your values, set yourself goals and strive to achieve them. Just do things that will make you realise your worth, don't keep transcending to the believes of a person with lower self esteem than you - it will just drown you.

Be you, live according to how you see fit and never ever let anyone steal your light!